Emotional Fitness

With the introduction of new sciences that bridge the gap between the traditional hard sciences, we see the emergence of things like "happiness" and "mindfulness" research and with these come a whole new glossary of terminology; which I then have to furiously google to understand. 

"Emotional fitness" and "anti-fragility" are two rather fanciful examples but not a bad attempt at summing up what essentially means the strength of one's character. I'd like to go one step further and suggest that being mentally robust is about having a flexible personality, as it is this which allows someone to navigate relatively seamlessly through life's little ups and downs, which in turn just makes life more enjoyable. No personality trait is a virtue (or hindrance) at all times; there is a time and a place where it works best and understanding this can prevent a significant amount of head banging - something I know lots about and it gets you nowhere except exhausted. Similarly, and most demonstrable in females, we are different women at different times of the month and understanding this, contrary to popular belief can be used to our advantage. 
Learning to be flexible is possible and actually it's easier than one may think; it just takes a bit of awareness of habitual behaviour. It could be trying a new response to a situation, argument or just doing something/anything a different way. The book "Flex" (see below) does quite a good job of the "how to" of this. 

Having competed and worked in sport and fitness practically my whole life, you get to see a lot. I've experienced a lot of success and failure, disappointment, illness, injury and the whole spectrum of emotion that goes along with that. I've also seen many other people go through it as well. Nowadays I tend to coach myself in anything I do and at the moment my chosen sport is bodybuilding. Being self-aware is a necessity of any self-coaching venture but it also allows me to better understand how to help other people. 

My thoughts as a coach and an athlete

I work as a strength and conditioning coach but I also work in sports science research. One of my interest areas is the science of motivation and I'm fast realising how building a strong flexible character is easier to create than you might think and just as necessary as physical skills in getting and staying on top of any goal. Emotional fitness is also the skill set that seems the least visible in the athletes I train. They can squat 2-3 times their body weight but have absolutely no concept of how to respond constructively to an unexpected situation or difficult decision about how best to attain their goals. This is a problem, as being able to make the right decisions and change or not change strategy in a sporting context can make or break a person (literally!). 

To be able to self motivate, make good decisions, stay positive...these are all absolutely crucial skills to creating momentum, staying injury free and navigating through a training phase. These skills are usually acquired the hard way as a consequence to life but they can also be consciously learned. The last point is a jewel of information because it means you can learn the lessons much faster and easier without having to journey to the far end of the "mood" spectrum i.e to "bottom out", whisky in hand. This therefore creates a choice with how you choose to experience life and I wish I had known that ten years ago because it just makes everything easier, more fun and angst free. 

To be able to select the aspects of your personality you choose to demonstrate at any given time is hugely empowering because it strengthens our ability for self reliance. Sometimes as coaches or friends, we get it wrong, give bad advice, don't know the best thing to say at the right time or just can't be there; it's human nature. Unfortunately I've been in the situation and I've seen people literally fall apart because they can't deal with a situation on their own when they've had to and it's completely preventable. 

As a coach, I see my role as making a person more self sufficient whatever that may entail. If I have done my job right, over time I expect to disappear more and more into the background only emerging at times of desperate need! This goes against the grain of conventional wisdom about coaching but it works and it works well. It also works in alignment with my values about sporting success and that is to encourage an athlete to become a better, happier person along the way. 

Right now I'm in the middle of bodybuilding prep and so I can experience the athlete side of the athlete-coach dynamic. It is hard; I'm very tired and my usual support system is on holiday! so it's a true test to my resilience; practice what you preach and all that! Thank goodness for the small things.. music, rest and watching Gladiator on repeat seems to work a treat! 

Motivation Book Club!

Flex - Ben Fletcher and Karen Pine and The power of Habit - Charles Duhigg