I read a nice quote by Mark Twain the other day "The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find our why".
This resonated with me because I feel lucky enough that I am on my path to finding the latter and albeit one of zigzags and curves, it is a hugely fulfilling journey; one filled with passion, joy, motivation and of course challenge, emotional and physical growth (and the occasional whisky)! For me, finding my purpose in life started to manifest the moment I put my attention to becoming authentic. Allowing myself to find a way to work with and be at ease with the many aspects of my personality which contradict each other. People are in truth many things, at many times - we all are. I am primarily an introvert but also an extrovert when required! A hard science academic but also a spiritual enthusiast. The list of contradictions goes on and on and I also find new ones as I evolve as a person. It is something that always confused and troubled me. I wanted to do both arts and science at school; but of the course the expectation 20 years ago was to choose one or the other. I chose science and maths, and that became my path through life; denying many things that I am because I couldn't explain the co-existence.
The crux point of becoming a more authentic person was actually finding an integrative holistic therapist (bodytherapeutics.co.uk) who was accepting and allowed me to be me in all my eccentric, non conventional, weird ways. He asked the right questions, listened and gave me the space to figure out what that was. And then...applying it to the real world i.e action! The suggestion was "Just try, being you and really being you?" What's the worst that will happen? You may lose friends but you may gain great ones.
I was scared to try this at first, to see the reaction on people's faces when I explain how I train, because my real interest in fitness and weight training is about mindfulness and experimenting with a system that rewires negative beliefs, making hard things fun. My task at present is about taking a conventionally brutal narcissistic sport (bodybuilding) and using a gentle approach to make it enjoyable and to create self worth along the way rather than punishment. It works and it works very well. To my surprise, not everybody spat in my face or laughed or made fun or walked away (some did!). I certainly don't preach this but I'm confident now in giving an authentic answer when asked about how I train and what program I use (one based on the placebo effect mainly). Most the time, people are interested and it has worked very well for those wanting to try a different approach. I have never really had a true understanding of all that I was and neither the courage to try to convey that, but to be able to speak your truth is a wonderful feeling. The more I practised communicating, the better I became at conveying that message and the more ways I can say it. I also know who not to share this with. I have attracted a better group of friends, well actually one friend but she is a great one and I would have her by my side over 10,000 acquaintances, because she has faith in me on days I lose mine.
My message is this - being authentic is necessary because it is an expression of your highest self and this can go a long way to creating freedom, happiness and inspired thought for how you want to share that.
I believe "how" you do something is important and how you go about training for a challenge, or for performance/results based sport is important. There are infinite ways to do this - some ways are corrosive and other ways build you up. Doing something in a way that is positive also prevents the inevitable depression and the "dark night of the soul" after completing a challenge. I have found being kind and encouraging to oneself, especially when you are naturally wired to be harsh, has a very powerful effect of creating relentless focus and flow, which in turn creates a better and more efficient training session. The effects are two-fold: better results and a more positive mind set.
How do you go about being more authentic?
One of the greatest resources I found for this was keeping a journal inspired by the book "The Artists Way" by Julia Cameron. The task was to write three honest pages of thought (on anything) every day and I did this for 60 days without fail, to build habit. Some days this was absolute gibberish and I occasionally have looked over past journals and cringe at my state of mind and some of the things I have written (or not written) hence the doodles of unicorns and Rainbow Brite. I also left one on Eva Air, so whoever reads that...it could rival Stephen King. But....writing honest thought is excellent for creating awareness, identifying and consolidating thought and drawing attention to what your values are. Mostly you can identify this through becoming aware of things that create either good or bad feelings. Knowing your core values in life is a really good skill set to have. I have found mostly when you're living a life not in alignment with these, problems happen. I'm lucky enough to know these are things like: freedom, learning, laughter, exploration (internal and external), challenges, teaching - I also know I can't compromise on this because they make me happy, without which I am no use to anybody. Taking responsibility for your own happiness is necessary, the upside to which nobody has the power to take that from you. It's part of building a robust self replenishing system and that is just necessary for living a blessed and a full life.
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