When things don't work, it's time to ask questions.
What really strikes me training in the UK is this obsession with 1) tragic heroines 2) stoicism and 3) stubborn misdirected grind. These themes seem deeply entrenched in the British way and therefore filters its way into sport, which already have their own history and traditions. It's also interesting observing sexism in sport and which sports seem to suffer worse than others. I can't help thinking that separate divisions for men and women in sport go some way to widening the gender gap...but I'll save that for another discussion.
I have travelled a fair amount for training and competition and will continue to do so as part of my global training project of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) and Bikini Fitness, so I have a little bit of world "perspective" on attitudes to women in sport. I've spent a few weeks training in BJJ now in the UK and I'm a little baffled by the approach.
I think the martial arts culture works fantastically well. The mental and physical skills one can learn at all ages and gender are numerous, but coming to it 10 years on from when I competed in Muay Thai last, I see a darker side too. There are elements that do not resonate with me at all now and it makes me ask questions about doing things just because that's how they have always been done.
I can't answer whether that is because I'm older (35yrs), or a female or because I have changed. I have found success and confidence in experimenting with my own training and creating my own success criteria, which doesn't really align with the convention of medals and trophies. Without a doubt, focusing on my own journey has made me happier, but it also sets me apart a bit from the pack, which brings it's own challenges.
As a woman in a martial arts sport, I question the value to the initiation period of discovering mental toughness. I question how we ask whether a person needs to make weight or not. I question the mentality that more is better. I question the 10,000 rule - what can you do with 20 hours of really conscious focused bespoke training. I also question why there are not more women in these sports.
BJJ is a minority sport for women and here in the UK this is no exception and I really can't help asking firstly why? I have trained in many gyms, for many years, in many countries, but my experience here felt like a war of attrition in every sense and perhaps this is the norm but is there not a better way? Should it not be fun? Should people not be encouraged over shamed? or is it the hard grind that makes it appealing? I saw women come and go in the period I trained at my gym and felt that was a shame, because why should they be excluded from a sport and journey that could be really positive. I've seen the same in Bikini- Fitness. Competition preparation done in a healthy way can be hugely positive. My biggest life and sporting lesson has been about finding the fun in challenge. I would like to see this as a viable option rather than emphasising the grind because that is inevitable, there will always be challenge for everybody. I also believe encouragement and fun are two incredibly easy ways of getting physical, mental and performance results.
My journey in BJJ is not one of medals or coloured belts, but having fun exploring and competing in a sport. To have freedom to experiment with other grappling disciplines for transferable skill, to train consistently, improve and be the best that I can be. For that, I need to be injury free and motivated. I have found my environment is not conducive to that, so I have found myself having to walk away from a situation with a few lessons learnt.
In the end you do have to choose your battles and you have to take responsibility for what is right and best for you. There is no right or wrong but these are part of the hard decisions that are necessary, because in the end the whole point of all sporting journey's I believe, is the person you become.
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