In any situation, at any given time, we have mental and physical limits and often these are only discovered by going way over and beyond them. The nature of this blog you will realise, is about achieving our own definition of impossible and overcoming limits, but only by accepting can we go beyond them. The question therefore becomes about the "how". How do you tackle limits? Do you barge through them or knock gently at the periphery?
I made a commitment to myself two weeks ago to compete in a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu tournament (BJJ) and to go through the training process as intensely as possible. I'm nearly at the end of the training period but I'm dangerously teetering on the edge of overtraining. My back is going into spasm after some serious torsion through my spine, my menstrual cycle is all over the place and I'm exhausted. I'm the only girl in my training group and a beginner; but more importantly I'm human and I like being human. Being vulnerable and embracing the more fragile qualities of being a human have made my life infinitely better. I share more, I cry more, I laugh more and I love more.
My challenge is having to learn how to navigate a really tough sport but stay true to my values and so far as I wrote last week, I have failed. I have got wrapped up in my own ego and other's ego's and have denied listening to my body in every sense. I'm physically strong; I can therefore match most men my size on strength. It does however come with a price, because training partners fight you, rather than spar with you, so there are no easy days, ever.
Part of my training ethos is I like to work and train with my menstrual cycle. I get great results from this as it really optimises the body and makes progress much easier. The last week of my cycle I like to train very light, take extra rest and don't diet, but I haven't had the luxury of being able to reduce training load in a group environment and I'm paying the price for it - heavily. As a consequence in a very short space of time, I am banging at the doors of my own physical and mental limits. I have celebrated this knowledge with an unplanned rest day and a little stiff talking to, with how I proceed. I can accept and honour where I am in alignment with my "inside-out" training approach, or continue to thrash through the whispers of overreaching into full blown overtraining and injury. When I write the options down, of course there isn't an option, yet it is much harder doing the right thing because my ego is ferociously and extraordinarily robust.
But this blog is about well-being, health and ultimately making decisions that enable us to be happier and stronger characters, because in the end what matters is the person we become. I therefore feel I have a duty of care to explore the more holistic options for making the impossible possible, because the alternative just isn't an option for me anymore.
What I have realised throughout my life training in different disciplines is nobody is going to tell you not to train, or tell you you're doing a good job. People love to offer advice but that does not mean it is good advice or it will work for you; for that, they have to know you. What does make a difference however, are words of encouragement but it is a mistake to expect, and actually this is a great opportunity to realise I don't need permission or validation to feel good, because I am fully responsible for my physical and mental wellbeing including my happiness. Nobody can give it and nobody can take that away.
Overtraining and not listening to my body is a tried, tested and failed method for me. It's easy to do but gets you nowhere really fast. Part of the "inside out" approach is being very clear about what constitutes success and there does seem to be a gender difference with this! Being the best I can be in any situation, regardless of my opponent is my new definition of success and part of my frustration this week has been my training has not been in alignment with that. I've allowed myself to overtrain through pure stubbornness and ego.
Making choices that are right for me, not just physically but that are in alignment with my values really matters. It is part of standing tall as an empowered female. I choose not to break my body and mind these days, there is no value in that so it's managing to make skilful decisions in a situation that doesn't always allow it. In my particular training environment, it is clear there are not going to be any easy training days or easy sparring sessions. I'm not going to be treated as a girl and actually I'm not going to be treated as a beginner! Therefore, if I turn up for training I have to be prepared for that, and actually sometimes (as in today) the right decision is not to train, hence why I'm writing (from bed with chocolate) and feeling really good about it.
Working with the menstrual cycle and not against it
Since I started listening to my body about 2 years ago, I have had great energy levels, stable moods, no injuries and regular healthy periods, despite a heavy training load for bodybuilding competitions.
Training for a BJJ tournament in an all male environment, somewhere along the line I stopped listening and trusting myself. No surprise, my body is not very happy, illustrated by early warning signs of injury and an erratic cycle.
As a women and having trained many women, I feel it is extremely important to work with the menstrual cycle and not against it. In truth, we are different characters mentally and physically throughout the month and that's ok - it's the nature of being a female. To dishonour or apologise is just denying what is natural. Our motivation, emotions and physical body change over the month and actually this can be used to our advantage. Premenstrual dieting I have found is usually a recipe for disaster and is a time when the body needs extra nourishment and rest. When you give the body what it needs, it will generally reward you so I've found kindness at this time of the month really lays the foundations for the rest of the month.
There are many women that train in male dominated sports or work in a male dominated environment and being able to embrace, honour and not deny being a female is a real skill. I've come to love my cycle as it highlights many things; in fact it slaps you in the face. Mid cycle I'm physically invincible with energy that is through the roof, and pre-menstrually the polar opposite - where even washing my hair seems like a magnanimous task. It highlights any emotional or physical issues which can then be dealt with before too late and dealing with small problems early is by far easier than dealing with huge problems brought on because they were ignored.
Planning my training and life in alignment with my menstrual cycle has completely revolutionised my life and it just makes sense. Of course, it isn't always possible with work and family commitments but it's amazing what even a few minor changes to one's schedule can make. I'm a couple of days before tournament now and I intend to get back on track by spending those resting and getting my mind back to where it belongs. I won't be dieting or dehydrating but going into it with energy and vigour, excited and appreciative of the journey. This experience has also taught me to always stay true to my values of being human and listen to my body, because nobody else will do this for me.
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