The essence of this blog is really about asking and exploring the question - How do we tackle the impossible? Of course, this is highly individual and I use this expression not in the literal sense, as in, "can I fly"? but as a metaphor for defying the odds.
The strategy for the above, I believe is making hard things fun or enjoyable, because this is the foundation of self-motivation. Willpower will only take you so far, but rarely beyond.
I ask this question because I can't help thinking the human spirit is strong beyond comprehension and with this comes the innate desire to accomplish the inconceivable. My curiosity and desire to confront this, has been a recurrent theme my whole life which for the most part has led to catastrophic failure doing things the hard way; suggesting the hard way is not the best way. The alternative to the hard way is the easy way, or a combination of both. The easy way revolves around the path of least resistance which slightly defies logic for huge challenge; there is however method in the madness.
The Flow state
Struggle and release, theoretically are both necessary components for learning. My default is "efforting", so putting more focus on "relaxing" restores the balance in the cycle and actually has made a huge difference to my performance and my general sense of wellness and happiness. It was this personal discovery which got me interested in the Biology of "Flow" - a term coined by the psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi to describe an altered state of consciousness where attention is so focused on the task at hand that everything else goes away. There is a whole litany of lingo used to describe this, such as "being in the zone" or "runners high" and extends to everybody, not just athletes. Essentially it is an emotionless state where our perception of time disappears and physical and mental performance goes through the roof.
Although research of flow has existed for over 150 years, the last 20 years has given us increasing insight into what happens in the body and brain during flow, which seems to revolve around a complicated cascade of neurochemicals; norepinephrine, dopamine (focus), serotonin, anandamide (lateral thinking) and endorphins.
Although I haven't experienced a lot of flow, I have glimpsed it and I can attribute my best performances to being relaxed and devoid of nerves and this is often a common theme talking to other people's performance experiences.
Brief glimpsing of it is enough to facilitate a quest on this path, because it is such an extraordinarily positive experience. This backs up the notion that "flow" is a very addictive mental state. Interviews of top rock climbers have revealed that climbing is really a facilitator of getting into this state, which is the primary motivator for these athletes, rather than the climb itself. This sheds a little light on what may be the driving force behind many athletes, including ultra-distance runners.
From a personal and academic interest in self-motivation I'm therefore very interested in trying to consciously access flow, rather than it occurring by accident or by having to rely on competition, as it seems this state is the source code of motivation. Without delving too much into the neurochemistry of flow, there seems to be a "struggle-release" cycle associated with it. The struggle (where skill level is not sufficient for the challenge) is a necessary prerequisite of release. If surrender accompanies the struggle, frustration and fatigue can progress into a physical release; causing flooding of nitric oxide into the blood stream and flushing away of norepinephrine and cortisol.
Steven Kotler, the director of the Flow Genome Project suggests criteria for accessing the flow state and that is 1) High consequences 2) Rich sensory environment 3) Deep embodiment.
High consequences is an interesting idea and this is just as much about perception than any real threat. It is summed up rather nicely in Samuel Johnson's quote "nothing concentrates the mind like the knowledge that one will be hanged in the morning.". In a high consequence situation, the mind has to focus and hence why extreme sport athletes are such a good cohort to study flow, as these physical performances simply would not be possible without this intense level of focus. From a personal perspective, my achilles heel is defaulting into an over-aroused state in a competition environment i.e jacked! I have found there is no better way to relax in challenge than 1) to desensitise yourself to a challenge situation by doing more and more things that put you outside your comfort zone. The brain isn’t daunted by its endless tasks; the more you ask it to do, the more it can do. 2) Execute deep breathing to help facilitate the process.
Competition as a tool to understand motivation
The majority of my competitive years was spent in anguish, discontent and dissatisfaction. It just wasn't something I enjoyed very much because I was terrified of failure and I wasn't experienced enough to know how to moderate performance anxiety; it always got the better of me.
Today I'm older (not necessarily wiser) but my motivation to compete is different. It is about exploring self-motivation. I'm therefore not attached to the outcome which comes with a huge advantage, in that it has given me the courage to be very experimental with training and competition strategies; an endless source of entertainment to friends and family!
I now compete in two sports; bodybuilding (Figure) and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) and I think they complement each other beautifully. It has taken me 18 months of consistent weight training to bring my physique to where I want it to be and now I have the freedom to play around with other ways of enjoying the journey, at the same time as refining a physique. I chose BJJ, because I love martial arts and being a beginner at anything and learning is where I'm at my happiest.
My first BJJ tournament was in Bangkok after 1 week of training. Being a recovering perfectionist, I was curious to see just how much preparation you need to "survive" a high level tournament. In terms of technical mastery administered in my fight, there was none, but... I survived. Of course survival is not the goal but I was interested to see what kind of experience minimal training would have in that environment. I love to fight (perhaps that is the product of two older brothers) and it feels natural to do so (within a sport!) but in truth I was too nervous to allow any intuitive movement or skill that I had learnt to come to fruition. It would undoubtably have been more enjoyable if I had been armed with a few more tools and I had managed my state of "fight or flight" a little better!
So, I have embraced my next challenge of the BJJ British open. I still don't have much more skill but I have one tournament under my belt which takes the sting out of first competition nerves. I'm very curious to see if I can access "flow" and I'm interested to see if I can use learned mental skills; meditation, breathing and mindfulness etc to manipulate arousal levels so I can better match skill level with challenge. I have practised mindfulness in weight training over and over again but to apply this to sparring and fighting is a really different thing, because there are so many more parameters outside of one's control.
Week 1 and Failing to Flow
I have a great coach and great training partners - they are however all men, and all heavier than I am. I committed to twice daily training for two weeks before the tournament and it is a baptism of fire in every sense. I get dragged across the mat, arm-barred, leg-locked, sat on, suffocated...the list goes on and on. Training is mentally and physically tiring and PMS has really tested my usual stoic training composure. In truth, I haven't fared particularly well keeping calm; the red mist has come down on several occasions and ego has gotten the better of me every time! There have however been glimmers of hope in the gradual waring down process. Out of fatigue comes creativity - you try other things when what you are doing doesn't work.
You learn to conserve energy by surrendering to unnecessary emotions; namely frustration - this is "release". Interestingly, in moments of release come a heightened awareness of what is going on and that I believe is at least progression in the right direction.
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| BJJ legs! |
Despite being hugely fun and enjoyable, with a lot of raucous belly laughter thrown in, I have failed miserably at taking conscious control over my own mastery of emotion and skill. Surrender has come about purely as a consequence of complete exhaustion! but rest and recuperation is wonderful for restoring perspective and learning. All I can say is thank goodness I can laugh at myself.
This passing week has been a humbling experience, highlighting my complete inadequacy and lack of control but I'm hoping after a rest day to consolidate learning, next week will be different. I have zero expectation of winning my tournament, but my definition of success is simply to stay calm enough and "in the moment" to at least allow some recall of technique. From there, well...we'll see what happens - after all this is an experiment!
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